


A Shift in Perspective

by AllKindsOfEverything



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Bellow, F/F, Gen, bellow diamond - Freeform, they gay mkay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-05-18 22:08:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19343626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllKindsOfEverything/pseuds/AllKindsOfEverything
Summary: After Era 3 begins Yellow has an existential crisis.Who can blame her? All that change.Luckily for her, Blue is right there to lift her back up when she's feeling down.





	A Shift in Perspective

**Author's Note:**

> couldn't think of a better title. feel free to suggest another! ♥

On a foreign planet, in an uncharted solar system, Yellow Diamond was sitting on a mountain top, staring into the distance unblinkingly.  
With the new order in place, she had something she'd never had before; a surplus of time.  
She rested her arm on her knee, dangling her other leg over the ledge of the cliff and sighed. What was the point of existing if you had no purpose?  
Blue came to mind.  
Beautiful, soft, calm Blue. The colour her own spectrum was lacking. The level-headed sobriety to her quick-tempered righteousness.  
They were two parts of a whole and yet... Blue didn't need her.  
She remembered the never ending tears that had clouded her judgement more than once.  
In her mind, she painted a picture of Blue's face, down to the finest detail. The grief and pain, etched into her beautiful features... until she laughed.  
That sound. That face. That feeling of joy that had washed over her when Blue had laughed after millennia of being heart-broken.  
Until realisation hit her hard and burned her insides.  
It hadn't been _her_ that had helped Blue smile again.  
She had tried for more than six thousand years and failed.  
No, Blue didn't need her. Blue needed _Pink_. And she had her. Somewhat. She had the next best thing; Steven.  
But what did Yellow have?  
  
Glancing down into the canyon below, she knew this would make the perfect spot for a kindergarten. The soil was just right to create several batches of elite gems. But that was a thing of the past.  
That sort of expertise was not needed anymore. _She_ was not needed anymore. They didn't need a general, they didn't need an engineer and they most certainly didn't need a _Diamond_.  
So what was left of her?  
A dull throbbing filled her chest, tears burning behind her eyes.  
After all this time, she was supposed to change. But to what?  
In all her existence, Yellow had never felt so lost.

~*~

In another part of the universe, Blue Diamond was feeling restless.  
She had held court, like she usually did, but something felt off.  
The proceedings had drastically changed, due to the new rules implemented into their society by Steven, but that was not it. Something was amiss.  
   
On the way to the trial chamber, Blue glanced down at her pearl. "Pearl, contact Yellow and ask her to meet me in the gardens later."  
   
"I'm sorry, my Diamond, but it seems Yellow Diamond is not available at the moment."  
   
Stopping in her tracks, she raised her brow. "Not available?"  
   
"It appears that she has rerouted the Diamond Line to a terminal server." She glanced up from the screen hovering in front of her face, "We can leave a message?"  
   
"To a terminal... can she _do_ that?"  
   
"...eurm." Pearl didn't quite know how to answer this one, so she decided to shoot her Diamond an apologetic smile and shrug.  
   
Blue sighed.  
"Never mind that. You're dismissed from this trial; go and find out where Yellow Diamond is. I will _not_ be ignored."  
   
Lifting her hands into the Diamond salute, Pearl bowed deeply, "Yes, my Diamond."  
   
Blue huffed in annoyance, straightened her back and held her head high, trying to brush off the nagging feeling that something was wrong.  
Right now, she had to concentrate on the trial. She would deal with Yellow later.

   
~*~

It had taken her days to track Yellow down.  
In the end, she had taken matters into her own hands, when the Aquamarines had returned to her with their heads bowed and their voices low, admitting they had lost the trail.  
Now Blue was slowly steering her ship to touch down alongside its yellow counterpart.  
She dismissed her Pearl and made her way up the steep hill, knowing her fellow Diamond's fondness of elevated observation points.

Yellow was faintly aware that the sun had set and risen during her stay, but she couldn't bring herself to care.  
She was dead to the world and the world was dead to her. There was nothing left to do but sit here and wait until she would eventually stop existing.  
Somewhere in the back of her mind was a soft nudge from a familiar aura. Blue. The thought made her wince.  
Next to her, something shifted, sitting down, leaning against her.  
  
Resting her head against Yellow's pauldron, Blue snuck her arms around hers and hugged it gently. She gave her a moment to come back to reality. It didn't happen.  
So she tried a different tactic. "Beautiful spot you've picked."  
When Yellow stayed quiet, she tried again. "I've missed you."  
That earned her a derogative snort. If she hadn't been so worried, she would have been offended. She pulled away, staring at Yellow's profile. "I have."  
  
Yellow hated herself for not believing her. She kept staring at the horizon, ignoring the gentle hand that laced its fingers through hers. An insisting thumb brushed over her glove in a steady rhythm. She furrowed her brow. It was soothing her. The tears she had blinked away pricked against the backs of her eyes. When she spoke, her voice was hoarse. "Why are you doing this?"  
  
"What _am_ I doing?"  
  
"You're making me _feel_." Yellow pulled her hand out of the gentle grasp and her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her knees. There it was again; that weakness she hated so much in herself.  
Blue folded her hands in her lap and studied Yellow's features. "I remember a time when you _liked_ that."  
  
"Those were _different_ feelings," Yellow growled, eyes fixed on the horizon.  
Anger began to burn at the back of her neck, her hair bristling, her tone harder than before, "Maybe you should ask White to take them away then."  
  
"Maybe I should." Yellow snapped, glaring at her partner with burning eyes.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous."  
  
"Am I?"  
  
"Yellow." Blue watched her look away. Reaching out, she placed her hand on Yellow's arm. "What is this _really_ about?"  
  
"I'm useless," she whispered. Tightening her grip on her arms, she felt that painful throbbing in her chest again.  
  
"What?"  
  
Glancing at Blue, Yellow's vision was blurred by unshed tears. "Don't make me say it again."  
  
"Oh Yellow." Blue smiled tenderly, trying hard to understand how Yellow could think so lowly of herself. "You're _not_."  
  
Yellow huffed in frustration, turning away before getting to her feet, her hands balled to fists at her sides. "I am!"  
Her temper rose, fire burning in her gaze when she looked back at Blue, still sitting on the ground.  
"You wouldn't understand. They took away my _purpose_ , Blue. You have the court, you have Steven, you have _meaning_ in your life. _I_ have _nothing_ left!"  
  
"That's not true, Yellow. You have plenty-"  
  
"-no I don't." Yellow cut her off. Electricity curled around her gloves in angry streaks, crackling in the air. "I am a warrior, Blue. But there are no wars. I am a conqueror, without the permission to conquer. I am coloniser without colonies. If I am none of these things anymore, then what am I?!"  
  
"You are Yellow Diamond."  
  
"And what does that make me?"  
  
For a second, Blue tried to find the right word. Long enough for Yellow to turn away and believe that she didn't have the answer either. But she did.  
Staring at Yellow's back, she noticed the curled fists and the raised shoulders. She slowly got up and stepped behind her, reaching out. First with her aura, then with one word.  
"Brilliant." She watched Yellow glance over her shoulder before looking away again. Carefully touching her fingertips to the middle of Yellow's back, Blue didn't let the sting of static scare her off. She let her hands travel around the metal clad torso and hugged her from behind, pressing her cheek against the warm armour and the palm of her hand to the diamond on its chest.  
"You're brilliant. _That's_ what you are."  
She waited for a response, but there was none, so she continued.  
"Yellow, you are... an architect and an inventor. You are the gem others turn to when they need someone to make a decision. You are the mind behind the creation. You see a problem and you fix it."  
Holding her closer, she went on. "You see things in a way very few can and you can explain them in a way anyone who'll listen can understand. _That's_ who you are." Blue felt her lean into her ever so slightly and smiled, resting her chin on her shoulder. "That is, if you don't let your temper get the better of you."  
   
Despite herself, Yellow heard herself huff in amusement at the quip.  
"Flattery, Blue?"  
   
"Honesty, Yellow." Blue pressed her lips against the nape of Yellow's neck.  
   
The throbbing ache in her chest subsided with each beat. Hanging her head, she felt strangely drained; the angry energy that had coiled around her slowly dissipating.  
"Is that really how you see me?" Her voice was softer than she had expected.  
   
Kissing the back of her neck, Blue stepped away and waited for Yellow to turn in her arms before she answered. "It is."  
She smiled warmly at the bright blush that coloured Yellow's face. "It's peculiar," Blue leaned closer, searching Yellow's eyes.  
   
"What is?"  
   
Touching their foreheads together, Blue hummed. "You really can't see your own greatness, can you?"  
   
An annoyed huff escaped her as she tightened her embrace. Silence followed while she considered her words carefully. "Can you remember the day you emerged?"  
   
Blue was surprised by the question. "I can."  
   
Yellow turned her head, leaning in to rest her chin on Blue's shoulder. "Can you remember just... _knowing_ what you were supposed to be?"  
   
"Yes." She waited patiently for Yellow to continue, understanding that no matter how long they had been together, this was still difficult for her.  
   
Finally, she spoke, her voice oddly detached while she kept staring blankly ahead. "You were born into peace; a diplomat to bring order to gemkind's infrastructure. That was the purpose assigned to you."  
   
Blue's aura reached for Yellows, steadying it. "Part of it, yes."  
   
Taking a deep breath she didn't need, she felt a knot building right behind her gem. In the back of her mind a coolness soothed her and she let it.  
It took another moment, before she went on explaining. "I was born into battle, Blue. I have always been supposed to bring victory, to conquer. I am not proud of what I am because I can't see a reason why. I am fulfilling my purpose. That's nothing to be proud of."  
   
Pushing away slightly, Blue caught Yellow's eyes. "That's where you're wrong."  
   
Yellow stared at her in wonder, silently asking her to continue, to explain.  
   
She studied her intensely. It was rare to see Yellow so open, so trusting. She looked so young. Like she had just emerged from the core of a star, scared of failing. In a way it was sad to know that she honestly didn't know. Love pulsed through her gem even stronger than usual. Blue swallowed the urge to kiss her now, choosing her words carefully.  
"When Era Two began, we were at a loss. Gems came out of the soil being sub par, to say the least. We figured out the reason but we couldn't find a way to fix it. White got angry, I was perplexed and you; you found a solution. You saw the problem and you found a way around it."  
   
"It was the only logical-"  
   
"-yes, it was; but you were the only one _seeing_ that logic."  
   
Pondering at it, she nodded slowly. "I was."  
   
"And you were the one who worked tirelessly, figuring out a way to optimise every sort of gem, no matter their court. I remember you training those Jaspers. I remember you brainstorming with the Peridots and coming up with the limb enhancers. That was all you. And don't tell me that was part of your purpose-"  
   
"-but it was. I had to rebuild our troops, so we could go and continue our conquests."  
   
"Oh Yellow." She cupped her Diamond's cheek and gently brushed her thumb across the warm skin. "You helped Gemkind survive and move on. White might never have acknowledged that, but she knows. _Every_ one knows." Blue slipped her hand to the back of Yellow's neck, combing her fingertips through the short hair.  
"And now there's a new era. And yes, we won't conquer or colonise or fight the way we have. But Homeworld still needs its Architect. We have to reinvent ourselves, but we have done that before. Just that this time it's going to be far easier, because we aren't grieving. I'm here with you and to be honest, I am glad that you won't have to go to war again." She paused, the echo of her feelings colouring the space around them.  
"I hated it every time you did, because I was afraid I might lose you too." Before Yellow could interrupt, she continued. "But we have time now. Far more time than before. And now when I come to your control room, you won't have to turn me away, because you have too much work to do. You can take a break whenever you want. After all this time, working yourself so hard you were on the brink of shattering, don't you think you deserve that?"  
   
The corners of Yellow's lips curled upwards. "You always had a way with words."  
   
Blue winked with a smile. "Part of my purpose."  
   
She savoured the moment, much more at ease than before, but something tugged at the corner of her mind. "You never said."  
   
Blue tilted her head. "What?"  
   
"That you were scared for me."  
   
Chuckling, she wrapped both arms around Yellow's neck and leaned into her further. "I thought it was obvious." She shrugged, "And I knew even if I told you, it wouldn't stop you leaving. It would have only made it harder on you. I was not about to do that."  
   
Her blush deepening, Yellow smirked. "You really like me, don't you?"  
   
"Silly gem. I _love_ you." The way Yellow's face lit up at her words made her laugh. "Oh, I see, I have to start saying it out loud more often."  
   
Burying her face in the loop of hair that rested on Blue's chest, her voice was muffled when she answered. "Yes, please."

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think anybody betaed this one.  
> The doc doesn't have any annotations.  
> I wrote this when I wasn't in a very good place. I just wish I'd have had a Blue to hug as well.
> 
> Every comment helps with motivation, so if you would like to read more about our favourite Giant Women then feel free to drop me a line! ♥


End file.
